Monday, June 16, 2008

blood is thicker than water...

or in my case, MUCH thicker. I found out early this month that I have a rare mutation of a blood disorder called MTHFR, C677T. Essentially, I have thicker blood than most. With this disorder comes a myriad of problems and complications; greater chances of miscarriage or stillbirths and the risk of stroke or blood clots. I even read that it was linked to schizophrenia (And yes, I realize that I've just left myself open to a lot of jokes. Ha ha.) Anyway, I've been trying to figure out a poetic upside to all this. I mean sure I could die of a stroke at any moment but there's always a silver lining, right?
Perhaps my thick blood is much like having thick skin, you know like I'm tough. Nothing gets to me. But then I remembered who I am and, of course, anyone who knows me can attest to this, that I am nothing like a thick skinned soul. In fact, metaphorically speaking you could say that I have no skin at all. So that poetic analogy of thick blood equating to thick skin, just will not work here. But in ruling out the tough girl option I realized that the opposite of feeling nothing, is feeling everything. 
Maybe when your blood is thick you actually feel it move through your veins as it strains to get to your brain where you can process just exactly what you have or are experiencing. Because it is so thick you feel it moving through your brain and then ultimately to your heart where the real processing takes place. My thick blood, like molasses, pushes it's way through my heart carrying with it all the joy or sadness, pain or pleasure, sympathy or even apathy. The body's own efforts making each emotion that much more palpable.